Wednesday, April 22, 2009

summer interns!

Summer internship for research intern. Job is unpaid but my mom will provide you with meals now and then cause my dad doesn't eat with us anymore. You will have to provide yourself your own computer and desk. We do have extra chairs in my living room which will probably be your work corner anyway. You will be positioned in the corner of the living room nearest our amazing encyclopedia collection, which you will exclusively have access to. The staff has other jobs that take up most of our time and we have meetings after work that can sometimes go deep into the night. So your responsibility's are going to be very very big. We have a blow up matress and plenty of pillows cuse you will be working very late nights. We are looking for somebody who is in this for the long term and dose not mind taking all accountability for us. If you feel like you might be that person please send us your resume and a list of all your professcinalites? ( this is a photo of were your matress will probably be. the encyclopedias are in walking distance)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

a new color

red walked for miles and miles to get to white. From there they spoke to yellow about this feeling they had. red had been feeling dizzy and white was unsure of everything. yellow had been having night mares as well so they decided to go and meet up with blue. Blue had been staring in the corner for two days looking to see what was in between. they quickly decided that they need answers so they all went to go speak with orange. Orange had been staying at greens for green had fevers and needed someone there to tell Green it was not hallucinating. Orange said that the only way to solve this is to go and find black.
So they all walked and walked and as the shades became darker they all fell into a very deep dark sleep. and when they woke up,
everything was different.

Friday, April 17, 2009

studies in architecture vol. 1

First there will be big concret blocks. then there will be big red blocks hanging above them. Then There will be statues, There will be lots of statues. Religious figures of some time period. Then we will make a river. We will have to dig the ground up very deep and fill it full of water. Then Lots of pillars, ionic and greek. there will be marble floors. Waite no, Wooden floors. then we will use our rulers. We will put them down on the ground and count till ten. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

the great suicide mission to the sun


the mission was only suppose to last for a year. we were suppose to hit up the international space station and make a quick stop on the moon. But now iv been up here for nearly ten years. The captain said "fuck it", and has sent us on a suicide mission right for the sun! he said that all he can remember about earth is his baby boy and how they buried his umbilical cord in the back yard so that one day they could bring his body back to life.
So now were headed straight towards the sun. I think the captain has seriously lost his shit. He told me that we should be honored to have such a magnificent death. In a way he's kind of right, I cant really get that mad at the guy. I'm still pissed that were all out of cigarettes and that I cant sprinkle salt and pepper in space. sometimes I will catch the captain looking out the window of are space craft whispering to himself " Yous eyes are like stars, your eyes are like the stars".

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Algorithm of the week!

Fi, U, Li, Ui,
this is the algorithm of the week. If you just follow these simple steps in any given situation, 6 times in a row. you will always find your self back at were you began.

best dressed chicken would like to announce that we will be changing somethings on the blog. there will be less drunk posts, more advertisements, less surgical videos and more stories about coke. Are professionalism is growing at a monumental speed and we hope you all can keep up with it.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Inmates watching television

Q: how long were you in prison for? how did you deal with it?
A: I was in prison for a very long time. God helped me through it.
Q: Were you a religious person before you entered prison?
A: Yes, I have been very religious for a long time.
Q: Are you guilty of your crime? Did you murder?
A: I am color blind. I mistake the color red for green*

* I believe last week I was going around telling people that Napoleon was known to have been color blind and when he saw fields of dead men he thought the grass looked greener then usual.
I'm not sure if I made this up or not? Whats the difference?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Wedding PICS 1981!!!

State Opening

this is me at my first wedding. I'm the one right in the middle, do you see me? after the ceremony I demanded to have Shirley temples till I puked, and that's exactly what happened. I danced with the queen and made king Charles jealous and snappy. We did the Charleston, the tango and the nuclear bomb. I have to say I looked very dapper. Me and the queen walked out on to the balcony. She told me she felt like a monkey in a cage. I said " there use to be so many places to go, but you chose the cage". we toasted are glasses of sparkling jello. Then we all did coke off off the mirrors in the bathroom that I had just recently bought from the Wonderland gang no less then a month ago. then we all said goodnight and wished the best of luck to the fallen city of Beirut. this was one crazy night in the summer of 1981.